Have you ever found yourself struggling to muster the motivation to tackle a task, yet deep down knowing that it's essential for your growth and success? The battle between what we want to do in the moment and what we know we should do for our future can be a constant tug-of-war within ourselves. This internal conflict is where the intricate dynamics of motivation come into play, intertwining with feelings of pride and guilt as our self-parenting emotions.
Motivation and Emotions
Motivation is a powerful force that drives us to take action, often when the initial spark of desire is lacking. At its core, motivation isn't about feeling inspired or eager to engage in a particular activity; it's about recognizing the significance of our actions in shaping our future outcomes. In a way, it is about caring for our future-self. Whether it's hitting the gym, studying for an exam, or working on a project, motivation often kicks in precisely when we don't feel like doing something.
Let's face it, you're never going to feel like doing some things you know you need to. Whether it's unloading the dishwasher, putting all the laundry away (and off the dreaded "chair of shame," or having an uncomfortable conversation with a parent, there are things we need to do that we can't rely on enthusiasm to get done. But this is yet another place that emotoins help us...it's just that we have to wait for them to come.
Two major FUTURE EMOTIONS are guilt and pride. We only feel them once we've done something, never before. And these emotions are pretty unique. While guilt signals when we've strayed from our values or commitments, pride serves as a beacon of achievement, letting us know that we are on the right track, even if the present moment feels challenging. Like an internal parent, these emotions are guides, not inspirations.
Embracing Pride as a Motivational Tool
The curious nature of pride lies in its ability to transcend immediate gratification and instill a sense of accomplishment in our future selves. It's like planting seeds of pride today, knowing that they will bloom into a beautiful garden of success tomorrow. Embracing pride as a motivational tool requires looking beyond the temporary discomfort or lack of enthusiasm and focusing on the long-term rewards that await us.
Imagine a scenario where you have a looming deadline for a project at work. Despite feeling drained and uninspired, tapping into the reservoir of pride can fuel your determination. Recognizing that completing the task to the best of your ability aligns with your values and professional goals can ignite a sense of purpose that transcends momentary feelings of reluctance.
The Role of Guilt in Self-Correction
On the flip side, guilt serves a vital role in our motivational landscape by calling attention to moments when we veer off course. Similar to how a parent corrects a child's misbehavior out of love and guidance, guilt nudges us back on track when our actions don't align with our values. Rather than wallowing in self-criticism, viewing guilt as a constructive feedback mechanism can propel us towards positive change.
Imagine a scenario in which you have made a commitment to embrace healthier eating habits, only to discover that you are drawn to a sugary treat. When faced with this temptation, you FEEL like having the treat, but there will also be a self-parenting voice (an internal voice of reason) that reminds you of how guilty you'll feel if you give in. After all, the healthy eating habit goal is important to you. And, if you do slip up and neglect your goal, your guilt will be there to let you know. Rather than criticizing yourself, or worse- feeling shame- simply recognize the slip-up. Give yourself a compassionate pep-talk. This is your chance to self-parent in a way that works for you. One that is filled with determination, but also empathy for how difficult it can be to make ourselves care about our future selves more than we care about our current cravings.
By understanding that motivation isn't about feeling inspired in the moment but about laying the foundation for future success, we can recognize the power of these emotions to propel us forward.
As you go about your daily tasks , remember that pride and guilt are not enemies but allies in your quest for personal excellence. Embrace the discomfort as a signal to you, lean into the challenges that will give you a deep sense of pride in the future...even when you don't want to right now. Your future self will thank you for planting the seeds of pride today and reaping the benefits of fulfillment tomorrow.
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