Deciding whether or not you should start therapy can feel a little overwhelming. You might wonder, Do I really need it? Will it even help? Therapy isn’t just for people in crisis—although it’s great for that too! It can be a tool for anyone looking to understand themselves better, manage stress, improve relationships, or just work through life’s ups and downs. But how do you know if therapy is right for you? And equally important, how do you know if you're ready for it? Let’s break it down.
Signs You Might Benefit from Therapy
1. You’re Feeling Stuck
- Have you ever had the feeling that no matter what you do, you’re stuck in the same patterns? Maybe it’s repeating the same mistakes in relationships, feeling like your job is going nowhere, or battling anxiety that just won’t quit. Therapy can help you get out of those ruts by helping you see things from a new perspective and giving you tools to make real changes.
Example : You’ve been thinking, “Why do I keep picking partners who treat me badly?” A therapist can help you uncover patterns and figure out what’s really going on beneath the surface.
2. Your Emotions Are Overwhelming You
- Everyone feels sad, angry, or anxious sometimes. But if your emotions are taking over—whether that’s constant stress, lingering sadness, or explosive anger—it might be a sign that talking to a therapist could help. Therapy provides a safe space to explore these feelings without judgment and can help you regain control.
Example : You might find yourself crying at the smallest things or snapping at people without meaning to. Therapy can help you dig into the reasons behind these emotional swings and find healthier ways to cope.
3. You’re Struggling to Cope with a Major Life Change
- Whether it’s moving to a new city, going through a breakup, or dealing with the loss of a loved one, big life changes can throw you for a loop. Therapy is a great place to process these transitions and figure out how to move forward.
Example : After losing a job, you might feel directionless and question your self-worth. A therapist can help you reframe the situation and build a plan for what comes next.
4. You Want to Understand Yourself Better
- Therapy isn’t always about “fixing” something. Sometimes, it’s just about gaining deeper insight into who you are and what you want. If you’ve been feeling disconnected from yourself, therapy can help you get back in touch with your values, goals, and inner strengths.
Example : You might wonder, “Why do I feel so disconnected from the things that used to make me happy?”Therapy can help you explore that in a way that leads to real growth.
How to Know If You Aren’t Ready for Therapy (Yet)
Therapy is a great tool, but it’s not for everyone at every moment in their life. And that’s okay. Here are some signs you might not be quite ready or willing to get the most out of it right now.
1. You’re Not Willing to Be Honest
- Therapy works best when you’re willing to open up about your thoughts, feelings, and struggles. If you’re not ready to be vulnerable, it’s harder for a therapist to help you. Being honest isn’t always easy—it can take time—but if you’re not there yet, that’s something to recognize.
Example : You might say you want help with anxiety, but avoid talking about the deeper fears or insecurities driving it. Therapy can only work if you’re willing to explore those root issues.
2. You Want Quick Fixes
- Therapy isn’t a magic cure or a one-time fix. It’s a process that can take time. If you’re looking for immediate solutions to complex problems, you might leave feeling disappointed. Real change often happens gradually, as you explore patterns and learn new ways of thinking and coping.
Example : If you go to therapy hoping to "solve" a years-long struggle with low self-esteem in just a session or two, you might find yourself frustrated. Therapy is more about long-term growth than instant results.
3. You’re Not Open to Feedback or Change
- If you’re coming into therapy hoping the therapist will confirm everything you already believe or aren’t open to hearing constructive feedback, it might not be the right time. Therapy often involves challenging your current ways of thinking or behaving to help you grow. If you’re not ready to take those challenges on, it’s worth considering whether you’re in a space to make the most of therapy.
Example : If you tend to think, “This is just how I am, and I don’t see why I should change”, therapy might feel frustrating. A big part of therapy is being open to new perspectives and ways of thinking.
4. You’re Feeling Pressured into Therapy
- If you’re only going to therapy because someone else thinks you should, but you’re not personally invested, it might not be effective. Therapy works best when it’s something you want for yourself. If you’re going through the motions for someone else, you might not engage fully.
Example : If a partner or family member is pushing you to go, but you’re not ready or interested, it’s okay to take some time to reflect before committing to therapy.
What If You’re Not Ready, But You Want to Be?
If you recognize that you’re not ready for therapy right now but you’d like to be at some point, that’s perfectly okay! You don’t have to jump into it before you’re ready. Take small steps, like reflecting on why you feel resistant or starting with self-help tools like journaling, meditation, or reading about personal growth. Sometimes, even just starting to think about therapy can help you warm up to the idea. You might also want to therapist-shop a little. Starting a therapeutic relationship is a big deal, and it's normal to interview a few different therapists before you find one that is the right fit for you. Think about whether you need someone who is more likely to push you, to be a comforting safe place, to provide simple coaching, or to encourage you to think outside the box. PsychologyToday.com has a wonderful platform to filter therapists in your area by insurance, style, and even gives a photo and blurb from the therapist on their perspective and approach.
No Bad Choices
Deciding whether therapy is right for you is a personal process. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just curious about understanding yourself better, therapy could be an incredibly helpful tool. And if you’re not quite ready yet? That’s okay, too. The important thing is that you’re considering what’s right for you, and that in itself is a step toward growth.
The journey to emotional well-being is different for everyone, and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it. Whether you dive into therapy now or choose to wait, know that you’re not alone, and there’s always hope for moving forward—at your own pace. Sometimes people prefer to use self-help books, workbooks, or to build their strategies up using helpful websites too. If that sounds like you (or someone you know), try downloading or ordering my first book “Not The Enemy: understanding and using the gift of emotions” on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or through my website andra-wischmeier.com.
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